:twisted sunshine:

OFFICIALLY part of the company...:)

2006-09-02T09:32:00.000-08:00

yep yep...3 months of classroom training is over, we got through the final defense...and now, we're officially part of the company! thank god all of us passed because on the average, about half of every batch don't make the cut. everything seemed to happen so quickly.well the first month was a bit of a drag because it was the programming part, but the succeeding months just flew by. i'll miss training, eating endlessly in the room, praying that the teacher for the day won't show up, rubbing elbows with the manong guards, and being with my batchmates the entire day. The eight of us are soooo unbelievably bonded i swear!

the results came out last week, group assignments were given and luckily, i got in the Manufacturing and Retail division -- the group i wanted!!:) we'll be dealing with semicon, retail companies (McDo, Mini Stop, etc.) and i think it's really exciting! out of town trips almost every week since manufacturing plants normally aren't located in manila.

I had my first client call last friday with a senior accounts manager, one of our engineers, and the country sales manager of the solution the client requires. I found it to be very interesting and learned that the key to being a good salesperson is having the ability to build a good relationship with the client... We spent about 20% of the entire time talking business and the rest, talking about anything under the sun. From the new tourist spots in singapore to my senior's daughter. hahaha...:)

all i can say is I'm happy with where I am right now. you know the feeling when you get excited everytime you wake up in the morning and you just can't wait to know what will happen that day?! It's a very tough job though but I think what pushes me is my interest in this field and the amazing people i'm working with.:) so yeah....wish me luck!

CLICK
Oh god...this movie makes me love Adam Sandler even more! I just finished watching it (courtesy of my dibidi from MCS!) and it was really really touching! Made me think a lot about my own life though. It's a living proof that trying to escape from some shitty things in life to move on to the better ones just makes you miss the best parts.

and the songs! man, it made the old songs sound greater than ever....i'm currently digging Linger by the Cranberries! and that "will you love me in the morning?" thing made me feel tears in my eyes and a huge lump in my throat.

one more thing..it showed how working in a Japanese company is so full of pressure..

Michael Newman: Three days? Couldn't I have a little more time for this project?
Ammer: Michael, our clients are Japanese. They can't wait for their fish to cook

soooo true! hahaha.:)

queer eye!

2006-07-28T15:54:00.000-08:00

after a grueling day at work last thursday, my officemates and i decided to have dinner to relieve stress. we knew the fab5 was coming that day but we didn't really have serious plans of going. i, myself was already too tired and didn't feel like working my through the crowd just to see them. i was actually excited to go home and sleep. My friend Louise though was very persistent and convinced me to just "check" the event. She triggered my usisera side and made me agree.

So off we went to greenbelt park. We were very surprised to see a very thick crowd composed of hispanic looking people, celebrities (Claire dela Fuente for instance..haha), and yuppies who were as curious as we were. We walked around trying to find a spot where we could get even a glimpse of them knowing that seeing them really clearly was out of the question. Some people had stubs which meant that you had to pay to get in and get the good seats so we were contented with seeing them merely as dots or even silhouettes. Little did we know that we were standing right beside the entrance. People were starting to line up so out of curiousity, me and my friends followed them. then my friend asked me to turn to my left and there THEY were, right in front of me, making there way to the stage! i was starstrucked. Thom passed by right in front of me and said hi..in my face! so did kyan. the others were too busy walking through the crowd. they are sooo hot...i almost forgot they're gay!haha. I knew i looked stupid....i was too struck with awe i think i just waved back unable to say a single word.

The guard opened the barricade and with a blink of an eye, we were inside! so yeah...we were 3 of about 20 people who were lucky enough to get in for free!:D long and short of it....we got seats and were able to see the show/interview. I was so satisfied at that point and was ready to go home but then, they announced that an autograph signing session and photo op would follow but only for those who have stubs. my friends and i were really tempted to run to power books, buy their book and have it signed but of course, it would be useless because we don't have stubs. The next best thing to do was to go near the stage and get their pictures taken! so here they are..enjoy!

thom, ted and kyan

jai, my jai.:D
jai and carson with those very lucky kids

ted signing a book

ted trying to kill thom

poor thom...he looks tired

kyan looks so cute here.:D

kyan in shock

and how can i forget this uber hot road manager! while everyone's cameras were pointing at the fab5, i was taking a shot of this guy...or gay.haha! my sister says he's gay because of his well-defined and pointy eyebrows. doesn't make him less hot though.:D

my friend louise and i, all giddy and kilig over these gay men.:D

i never realized how fun it is to be a fan until this event.haha. :D

no more waiting for ched's announcement...:(

2006-07-12T05:44:00.000-08:00

nothing could be worse than waking up to a really really bad weather and knowing that no matter how hard it rains, you still have to get up and go to work. it sucks big time. I love this kind of weather IF i would just be lounging around at home and not when I'll be out in the streets. when i was in college, i would cut class if it's raining really hard..considering I live just an overpass away from school. haha....see?? that's how i hate getting all drippy and having the bottom of my jeans wet. and now...no matter what...i have to TRAVEL all the way to makati and back despite the shitty weather. ugh...and now I'm hearing my cousins say that their classes got suspended today..darn it.

anyhow....

we've been bums in the office since monday. programming is officially done and over with and now we're off to other modules. bumming days lasted only until today though...back to some more serious stuff tomorrow. and oh..back to that programming thing, the final exam was hell. 2 more months to go before this training thing comes to an end!

it's so cool...i get to bump into a friend/s every week. aside from tarcy who i told you about a few days ago, i saw jeff sy at the lrt2 station, ordo in greenbelt, drew in gateway, and iking in the mrt station. haha...it's really nice to see friends you haven't seen for a while. gives you a chance to somehow catch up in the midst of a lot of people or while walking really fast to catch the train. down side is, it makes you miss your other friends more. hmmm...so who do i see next??

so there....have to get some shut-eye. still have to get up early tomorrow. i just hope it won't rain as hard.....:) goodnight everyone!:)

Happiness...

2006-06-23T05:49:00.000-08:00

A psychologist from the States said that more and more people are becoming unhappy day by day. Probably because they feel they aren't blessed enough or because they pay too much attention on the hardships they are going through and see it as some sort of punishment. If you were able to read my previous entry, you could definitely say that i'm not THAT happy right now.

My officemates and I heard mass at greenbelt after work today because it's the feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. The homily was about what the psychologist I mentioned earlier was talking about. People always yearn for more and take the things they have at hand for granted. without exaggeration, we really felt like the homily was speaking to us. Eventhough my officemates and I laugh our heads off all day, there are still moments when we feel extremely frustrated and hopeless. we sometimes even question why we put ourselves where we are now. endless rantings, discrete signs of giving up, these could all be observed in us for the past few days. Come to think of it though....continuing this kind of attitude won't take us anywhere. the homily reminded us to count our blessings because dwelling on frustrations, hardships, heartaches and pride will just make us more depressed. Recognizing our blessings, even the seemingly insignificant ones, will on the other hand, continue to brighten us up and give us hope.

so yes... this will be my way of thinking from now on! i am in this situation for a reason and there are a lot more things to be thankful for than to sulk about!:D

why don't I start now?!
here are a some things I am very much thankful for.:)
1. my work!:) even though it's really tough and challenging, i'd have to say that i'm learning a lot from it! plus, it opens up a great opportunity for me IF i pass.:D

2. my officemates! im really grateful to have officemates who I get along with really well. Everyday, there's always something that makes us realize how much we jive well with each other no matter how different our personalities are.

3. that it hasn't rained while I was going to/home from work since I started working. It is not at all easy to travel in your corporate wear if its raining!haha.

4. that Brinie is my officemate because I get to commute with someone everyday.:)

5. that I eat without a care in the world now unlike before when i was super super conscious of what I put in my mouth! haha...I have to thank my officemates and the stress Fujitsu gives me for this.

6.my family! they never fail to boost my confidence and support me in times when I feel like I can't handle all the pressure anymore. Also for allowing me to make decisions on my own but still remind me that I can turn back to them anytime the decision I made turns out to be all wrong.

7. that I unexpectedly bumped into tarcy at greenbelt last night because I felt so tired and groggy that time and talking to her even for a little while definitely perked me up!

8. that I get to pass by 6 malls (Greenbelt, Landmark, Glorietta, Farmer's and Gateway)everyday because all the people and the window displays don't make me realize how far we walked everyday.

9. that we have 7/11 and mini stop near our office! mini stop's huge soft serve ice cream cone definitely brightens up my day!

10. that we're right across greenbelt!

11. my friends of course, whether high school, college or the others..haha.aside from my family, they always make me feel welcome to call on them when I need moral support.

wow...there's just too much! the list goes on and on;

it's just amazing how timely the homily was for us. it did serve as a good reminder and I hope to be able to hold on to it for a long long time...:D

first 3 weeks

2006-06-21T06:16:00.000-08:00

yep..im in my 3rd week at work. i wouldn't have noticed it if my officemate didn't remind me. well...time does fly.

for the nth time, i haven't blogged for so long. and again, i've been wanting to write about how my first day went etc.etc. but i'm just too drained to do it when i get home. Now i feel like filling you guys in with some details though.hehe:)

i've been drained since i started working..physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it. I was really excited about it before I entered and eventhough they told me during the interview that the training will be really rigid blahblah, i didn't seem to mind it thinking that college has trained me to handle all kinds of pressure imaginable. Well...let's just say that I thought wrong. The training IS really tight! i don't want to dwell on the entire thing because just thinking about it makes my tummy go upside down. We're on our second module right now and it's about programming! something i am not at all interested in! we had it in high school but i always asked my seatmate to do the programming part for me while i do the objective part of the test for him in return. and now it's haunting me....so now, I attest to the fact that there is KARMA!haha...:) The sad thing about it is I'm training for an accounts/sales position...which means that I am not responsible whatsoever with programming the solutions i'll be offering to clients! but nooo....the company insists on torturing us with with all these codes and syntax. The instructor teaches us super basic stuff in a hurry and then gives us very very complicated homework that we have to finish in a certain number of days. And mind you, even if we were given about 3 days for some of them, they still weren't enough. That's why I don't get to go online that much. I'm too fed up with facing the computer the entire day that i don't even want to touch it when i get home. They say this is a test of character, like how we buckle up to pressure, how we handle things we barely know, how patient we are to learn something as foreign as this, etc etc. They also say that it's important so we won't sound cluecless to our cliets. Whatever, it's too much. Well, I can't wait for this module to finish so we can move on and read normal English again. haha...i swear...computer language is just pure gibberish.

but! God is good....despite all the stress I'm going through right now, He kind of compensated it by giving me wonderful officemates for me to keep my sanity. I swear, I'd go crazy if i'd be in front of the computer all day in a room full of people i don't get along with. kill me instead. but He gave me whacko people as officemates which makes the burden feel so much lighter...Oh well, you cant have it all.:)

also...I'm still adjusting to the environment. A Japanese company really reflects their culture. As compared to companies owned by Western countries, the Japanese ones are way stricter. I think they have some hierarchy issues. haha. Like us trainees can't just loiter around the building and mingle with the regular employees during office hours. it reminds me of amateur geishas.haha.:) Also, we can't use mp3 players in the office (which, of course, i don't follow), because they believe it makes the person less productive. I find it stupid though because it doesn't work for everyone. Also, We can't eat at the ground floor (which, again, we don't follow), which is where our room is located as of now, because we might leave crumbs that would attract insects and make the whole ground floor smell like food. hay...

I might sound really unhappy about my job but in truth, I'm not. It's just this programming thing that drives me nuts. I hope it won't be this shitty during the remaining time of the training. This is a position I really really want. The company itself is not bad at all because quite a number of the regular employees have been with the company for at least a decade. What scares me though is that some people fail this training . So yeah..double pressure. guys...please help me pray that I pass this thing. If not, please help me find a new job if ever i don't make the cut. hahaha!:)

ok...my eyes are feeling really heavy now. have to go to bed and wake up early tom for school. I'm so sleepy. I still want to write some more but i'm really really knocked out. Again, friends, please include me in your prayers.:D

goodnight world!

last few days of bumming....

2006-05-31T07:54:00.000-08:00

all good things do come to an end....mine will in 4 days. 3 months of bumming is hard to get over with. each day (well...almost) is worry free and spontaneous...but of course some days could be pretty boring and yeah...i can't live like this forever. if i would...i'd be as wide as the fridge i raid everyday, or the couch I lounge in for hours. haha...not a good idea.

i haven't blogged for quite some time. there have been a lot of days when i want to write about something but don't muster enough energy to actually do it. a lot has happened since the last time I posted something here.
--> First off, i officially landed a job which will be starting on monday (and also officially ends my bumming days). I'm kind of excited because as weird as it sounds, i miss all the stress and work i get from school. I always long for a vacation during school and now I realize that I really can't handle too much of it. A good dose, say 3 months..hehe, is enough to de-stress and recharge me to face another pressure-filled life.
--> The last few weeks have made me a lot more domesticated! I do know how to clean and do chores but it's just not my favorite activity. i do have an idea on how to cook because my family is just fabulous with food so i've seen how some are cooked and i've been so fascinated with cooking shows since i was little (along side home tv shopping...haha) i've been baking since i was little but i didn't really have the chance to make "real" food because it has always been the elders' or my sister's share (or maybe they didn't trust me enough to do it.haha) and soooo....now that my mom isn't here and my sister is in katipunan....i'm left at home with the maid and my guinea pig little bro...which means i can risk doing some experiments in the kitchen! what do you know....i've discovered that i have the knack for it!:) yehey...and now...i plan and cook our every meal, everyday...and it isn't bad at all!:D it doesn't end there...i've been grocery shopping for the house and fixing stuff my brother needs for school. i get to do something productive in between my all-day tv sessions after all!:) lesson learned...being a mom isn't easy!
--> most importantly, i met new friends who "re-introduced" Kuya Jess to me. Every minute of that weekend is so worth it.

so there...the block's going out on friday and i know all of us need it..time to unwind and savor the last few days of freedom before setting foot in the corporate world. oohh...also to save our sick and vacation leaves for later and better use! hahaha.:) see ya!

not doing anything can be tiring

2006-05-02T08:17:00.000-08:00

i stayed home the whole day...watched every decent show on television...and of course..satisfied my cravings.haha.:) this vacation is just way too long for me already...i can't wait to start working. but then, i'll probably miss all the free time i have in my hands right now when that time comes!

the entire household is asleep already and no matter how much i want to get some shut-eye...i still can't. i'll try again a bit later.

hmm..what to write..what to write?

as i said earlier...i was a couch potato the entire day and i saw all the cooking shows in food network. emeril is driving me nuts. i don't get why his audience claps and cheers when he mentions the ingredients. like if he says "let's put in the garlic!", the crowd goes wild. i swear...it's crazy!

and we have pinoy big brother 24/7. haha!! and we didn't even pay for it. my brother was channel surfing and found it. it's in black and white though...but it's tolerable.

now, do i sound bored?hahaha..:)

i miss my friends...

guys let's go out!!!

anyhoot...

belated happy birthday to my sister!

she treated us to dinner which made us feel 20 lbs heavier. but as they say (and this is very much true in my case)...there's always room for dessert!

This is called Joaquin and Fleur de lys. It's like chocolate mousse but made of Bailey's. Bailey's, in itself, is fantastic. How could you go wrong with this?

Too much eating! tsk tsk...

And at this ungodly hour....I want Holy Kettle Corn and Chicken Joy!

hahaha.:)

kids can be good samaritans!

2006-04-23T04:09:00.000-08:00

my family's starting to get used to attending the anticipated mass in a nearby village instead of waking up so early on Sundays to hear the mass here in our own village. and so that's what we did saturday night. we were chatting in the car on our way home and suddenly heard a loud KABOOM followed by feeling that the car kind of went sideways. we stopped and my brother went out of the car to see what happened and found the tire totally flat. well that's an understatement...it exploded! all of us in the car, except for my lil bro, are girls who do not know a thing about changing tires so my mom had to call my uncle to come over.

we waited and waited....and caused a bit of traffic. haha.

I noticed that we were right in front of a small car radiator repair shop which was adjacent to a small sari-sari store with a couple of guys hanging out. I figured that they should know how to change tires but despite the fact that they obviously saw what happened to us, none of them even budged. they just stared.

After a while, there was this small cute boy walking along the street and saw us. He went to look at the tire closely and ran to the radiator shop and came back with a teenage boy (not one of those at the sari-sari store). Both of them looked at the tire but were trying to do it discretely. My mom then called them to ask if they knew how to change tires and they said they do. as they started to fix the tire, i was surprised to see a bunch of other kids (probably 9-10 year old boys) and some grown-ups approach us. im not kidding, they were many! i should have taken a pic of them all huddled in front of the tire and handing out instruments to each other as if they were in a hospital operating room..haha..it was so cute.:)

grabe..it's so amazing how those kids are used to such jobs.:)

and...If it wasn't for that small boy, maybe those men in the sari-sari store won't really bother at all.

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i've been such a bum for the past few days...as nerdy as it may sound, i miss school. I'm not used to having a vacation this long because i had summer classes my entire college life.

i miss my friends too...

i want to go out again..

and i'm craving for crepes....again! oh no...
pic above: me and cat with a plate of strawberry crepe from Cafe Breton. Sorry, the picture's kind of grainy. It was really dark there.:)

on partings and goodbyes...

2006-04-16T04:06:00.000-08:00

i've never been comfortable with goodbyes, separations and letting go. no matter how many times i'll be told that the person will come back or that it's just a temporary change, just the thought of it makes me cringe and try all possible things to get my mind off it. but it's inevitable.there are times when parting from things/people that you're used to having or being with is necessary.

i look forward to graduation ceremonies but dread it at the same time because of the changes it will bring. new life, being separated from friends, and so on. i hate bringing people (esp. relatives and loved ones) to the airport because the thought of being separated from that person is hard to bear. as if that's enough...seeing other people bidding goodbyes and waving to their families as they head to the door makes it even more difficult.

maybe i just tend to be too passionate...too attached...a bit immature even? i can't really tell.

sorry for the drama...

it's just that we took my dad to the airport today because he has to go back to work. this has been the family's set-up all my life. my dad works abroad, us kids study here, my mom stays with us but visits him once in a while. some may say that i should've been used to it because after all, this is how it's been for us for the longest time. suprisingly though, each goodbye is still filled with tension and emotion. we don't really breakdown into tears....but the conversation and laughter is full of tension no matter how each tries to cover up their own sadness.

i hope it won't take long for us to not go through the struggle of parting and saying goodbye anymore... two decades is enough...

hangover...

2006-04-14T08:57:00.000-08:00

i just got back from bora a couple of nights ago and until now, i still have a hangover....from the beach, that is. hehe.:)

although i was one of the boys (well, there were two of us) for the entire stay, our bora vacation this year was fantastic! you guys are great!:D
- the seemingly endless ferry ride
- the "shuttle" ride to caticlan
- the sun
- the sand
- the beach
- jonah's fruit shakes and breakfast
- andoks
- aria
- dmall
- budgetmart
- parties!
- walking to station -2 (hahaha!:D)
- staying up until breakfast with the bandidos
- getting tipsy every night (bangenge na to!)
- bumping into schoolmates here and there as if we were in Ateneo

i'll upload photos in my multiply...which has been dead for the longest time. it's not yet complete though...being the trigger happy people that we are (ehem david..hehe), there are still around 400+ pictures from the others' cameras. guys...share!:D

hay..the bora life! staying there for almost a week made me feel like a local!haha. take me back!!!:D

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i haven't stayed home for almost 3 weeks already. we went to pangasinan before i went off to bora, and now, i just got back from our tito's house where our family spent the holy week. I haven't unpacked some of my stuff the entire time! although i had fun in all three escapades, it still made me miss my home and the urban life. now i want to watch a movie, go to the mall and eat chicken joy! but for tomorrow, i'll just chill and bum around the house and enjoy good food, a good book and probably a few DVDs.:)

summer!!!

2006-04-04T11:18:00.000-08:00

it's officially my favorite time of the year! despite the disgusting and uncomfortable heat, i say summer is when most of us get to unwind and lay our minds off the hustle bustle of our busy lives...i love it.:D

my family and i went to pangasinan to visit my grandparents and other relatives. we see to it that the whole family pays them a visit every time my dad's here in the country and out of all the times we went there, i'd have to say that this one's the best. primarily because we have seen a significant improvement in my lola's condition. She was confined in the hospital last october and stayed there for more than a month. i felt that all of us were preparing ourselves for the worst that could happen. Having witnessed what she went through because of her sickness made me look up to her more. Her strong desire to live, her faith in the Lord and her love for her family is astounding and i believe these are the weapons she is geared with in battling her sickness. Now, she's slowly recovering. She still can't walk but she goes through therapy everyday and her latest progress is being able to stand and take baby steps. she can eat solids now and is slowly gaining her appetite back!

another reason why i enjoyed this vacation the most is because it was the only time i got to really talk to my lola. it was all small talk before, probably because i wasn't very comfortable with her since i don't get to see her often. During our last visit though, me and my siblings would be in her room and just chit chatting and joking around with her. if only i had opened myself up to her before, we would probably have become closer. But it's never too late, especially now that she's getting better.:D

what also spiced up the family outing was our visit to Our Lady of Manaoag. we always see to it that we pass by this shrine to say our prayers before going to my dad's parent's house. But what made this visit extra special though was the little kid selling what seemed to be a prayer booklet or a small card with a picture of Manaoag...im not sure. She approached me and was persuading me to buy. I just smiled at her and left to lok for my mom. Then she approached my mom and did the same thing. She even said something like "Sige na ma'am, ipagdadasal ko na swertehin ka!" haha...that really blew me away! so we gave the girl and her friend money. then we left and as we approached the car, i heard someone call me and said, "ate, pinapabigay nya o" (pointing to the girl i was talking about). it was a beaded necklace with a crucifix pendant. i honestly didn't know how to respond..i even remember asking her "bakit?" but in the end, i took it. what surprised me was seeing her other friends wearing the same thing..so maybe it was like their friendship necklace or something. :) what moved me was the sincere and simple gesture of appreciation and gratefulness because this is what we often take for granted these days. there was this girl who didn't even have enough money to buy bread, sharing what she had just to express how thankful she was for the act that we did. and it wasn't giving something she had in excess...kakaiba.:)

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we're off to bora tom! almost a day in the ferry, then a bus ride, then a boat ride....what an adventure!haha.:) im sure it'll be fun!

must get some shut eye...i just finished packing and i still have to wake up early tomorrow!:D

now that it's done....

2006-03-30T04:58:00.000-08:00

wow...a lot has happened in the two months i haven't blogged.

- I celebrated my birthday with the people who mean the most to me...

- I got my hair permed...at long last! and now, the people i'm often with are spared from my endless rants of wanting my hair curled!
- parties here and there...
- catching up with friends I haven't spent time with for as long as i could remember
- Blue roast
- more bonding moments with my family
- We finally graduated!

i missed blogging...hmm...i don't even know if people still read this because of how long i haven't updated. They might be tired of seeing the same old thing since feb 7 and just be too fed up to visit the site again.hehe.:)

anyhow...

I know it's a bit too late to write a post-grad entry but I'm doing it anyway. Finishing college is definitely a load off my shoulder but it also makes me feel anxious, excited and a bit sad all at the same time. Anxious because, as we usually hear, we're now about to enter a world that's entirely different from what we have been accustomed to all these years. Of course we were trained to be independent and mature during college, but the independence and maturity called for now is different from before. Now, no one else but YOU is in charge. You are accountable and responsible for your life. Each decision you make should take a lot of things into consideration and each is critical to what your life will turn out to be. Excited because it's something new. It's a challenge that would drive you to do your best and believe that you CAN. You'll meet new people, experience things you haven't gone through before, and learn more. What also makes it exciting is because handling things on your own makes you feel so GROWN-UP just like when you thought that drinking coffee and cooking were things only adults could do. Sad probably because I became too attached not just to my friends but with the school and the life I lived in the past 4 years. I'll miss hanging out at the som/ctc benches, grabbing a 7/11 hotdog sandwich for lunch and rushing a paper at the same time, highlighting articles, having handouts photocopied, the polvoron and goto at the satellite caf, the 6-9 exams that fill starbucks and mcdo with students studying until before the test, staying at starbucks from the time it opens until it closes. hay...

Now, it feels so weird to wake up each morning without your mind being boggled with deadlines you have to meet, papers that should be done, meetings, and the list just goes on and on. Vacations before somehow made me feel this but then, there was a definite time when all the chillin' and worry free life will end because you know that summer classes will start on april and the regular ones will be on june. unlike now! but at least all the hard work is over...grabe...this needs some getting used to.

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last night, i noticed that my room was a mess and it urged me kind of organize things. everything i unearthed were college stuff. from english11 syllabus and papers, to organizers, to accounting scratch papers,to notes passed during class...etc. etc. it was fun to look at and it made me miss college all of a sudden. nostalgia kicked in which resulted to me staying up until 3am because i was so entertained at browsing through my past essays and tests. hay..i'm still not done. there's more i have to sort out at our katipunan apartment!

i think i mentioned this before... i super enjoy fixing stuff from the past. I love it when the memory is just so alive in my mind and when i remember the story behind that certain thing.

there's still more to sort...more memories to be relived and well....a lot more stuff to fix! eep..

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in a few days..i shall be basking under the boracay sun! wahooo!:D i can't wait...i can't believe it's already been a year since the last time we went there!

aside from the fabulous company ill be having this year, i'll also be able to meet up with my high school buds there. yehey!

exciting exciting! 6 worry-free days and 5 dancing-without-a-care-in-the-world nights!

i'll go back to job-hunting after my bora vacation!haha:D as for now...we'll be making the most of our well-deserved break

after a dose of caffeine

2006-02-07T08:16:00.000-08:00

i'm so awake right now...thanks to my good ol' cup of coffee...

life's actually been pretty steady for the past few days. The headache i endured for about a week is totally gone now. i had my eyes checked yesterday after days of panicking about what might really be the cause of my sometimes intolerable headache. Bad vision was the first suspect. true enough, it is. so i got the lenses of my eyeglasses changed and now the world is much much brighter.:)

---

i had my routine interview this morning at the guidance office. contrary to what i've been hearing about it, it was actually very good and helpful. I was in awe while listening to maam mia interpret the results of the psych tests i took before because it seemed like she knew me since birth. What she said about me was very accurate. haha.:) galing.

maam mia is actually my sister's friend. i haven't really had the chance to get into a real conversation with her. just simple hi's and hello's. but she has this aura that would make you feel comfortable to open up right away. my sister said she's really good at "reading" people. man, tell me about it.:D

the results actually made me feel good about myself because my ultimate goal has always been to grow as a person in everything that i do and thankfully, that's what happened the past four years. sometimes you feel that you're becoming a better person, but today i've proven that it's much better to have someone affirm it and explain how everything happened. of course there are some aspects that i have to improve on daw and now, i want to start taking baby steps towards a big change.:D

---

allow me to air this out....

i didn't know of the tragedy that happened in Ultra until that evening. i thought my cousin was just kidding when she told me about it but realizing that 74 people died shocked the hell out of me. Everything seemed so surreal. how could that possibly happen? ABS-CBN have held big events for years and none of this took place. how could this much people die because of a noontime show?

the news really depressed me. Seeing the post-stampede videos where the people's belongings (shoes, umbrellas, water jugs, blood stains even) are all over the venue gives me goosebumps all over. Hearing stories about it is even worse and until now, news reports still leaves me so sad about what happened.

we know that those people did not go there for mere pleasure, to see celebrities or to simply watch the show live. they sacrificed a lot. news has it that most have been lining up since wednesday which means that they sacrificed their jobs or taking care of their families hoping to be fortunate enough to somehow alleviate the financial problems they've been going through in life and thus provide a better life for their families. they know for a fact though that being there does not meant they would automatically win. all of them took a risk. they actually gambled. a lot said that it was mainly because of greed and that Filipinos should stop going for instant money. but who are we to say this? we do not experience all the hardships these people are going through. their main objective for each day is to survive, nothing more. how can they be greedy if they don't have enough in the first place?

more than anything, i feel so frustrated for what our country has become. why did it reach a point where people see a spark of hope only in noontime/game shows? but come to think of it, there are no other alternatives presented to them. Where else would they rely on? obviously, this tragedy is rooted to extreme poverty. but why is the country becoming poorer and poorer??? the list of questions goes on..it's sickening.

and now it's irritating how people of authority have been pointing their fingers and accusing each other that they are accountable for what happened.

god, this country is really going haywire...

bumming around...temporarily

2006-02-01T07:18:00.000-08:00

this is kind of a light school week for me. the only thing i have to worry about is my advertising orals tomorrow (which i havent studied for yet.hehe). i'm enjoying all the free time i have because i know this won't last. next week, and probably until feb 27, we'll all be loaded once again with papers to finish, long tests to study for, philo and theo orals...etc.etc. thing is, once i get my back off from all the school stuff, i tend to have a hard time getting all pyched up to be back in work mode. tsk tsk....4 weeks to go and we're all free!!!

anyhow...the past few days have been quite interesting. since i've loosened up from school a bit, i decided to make the most out of this span of time and met a lot of new people, relaaaaxed and the best part of all, realized something that i really really really want to do!!! hay Lord...help..:D

---

my mood's been fluctuating wildly lately. like one minute i'm extremely perky and hyper and before you know it, i just feel so down and off. it feels weird and yes, it's freaking me out because i know that there's a reason behind this and i just can't put my finger on it. hmmm...which makes it scarier because that just means that i have a lot of issues all kept inside me! my gosh...shall i go for professional help?!?!? well.i've been talking to a lot of people and most somehow feels the same way. labo..what's with people nowadays???

---

on a happier note...i am once reunited with moro lorenzo after a year of slouching around! haha..i love it...i missed all the running, the weight lifting, the sweating (ok, that's gross), the smell and feel of moro itself, and everything that comes with it. addict e noh! haha:) i never thought that going to the gym is what will make me wake up for my 7:30 class!hahaha:D

---

i feel stupid. i held on believing that something MIGHT happen. maybe it's more of being too overwhelmed that i forgot to consider the real picture, assumed too much, asked the wrong "what if" questions and most of all, allowed my emotions to take over me eventhough i know that everything is soooo illogical. and now, after being hit right smack my face, i am back to reality and ready to let go. sometimes, you just need someone to slap you and wake you up from dreaming....especially if you've been too drowned in them. although it's not as easy as it seems....it's all for the best.

so goodbye to all the daydreaming...
goodbye to all the assumptions...
and always be geared up with a rational thought that would contradict the kilig feeling especially if you know you SHOULDN'T be feeling that way...(haha..highschool!)

if there's one thing i learned about myself because of all these, it's that i don't easily see the goodness of a person's totality, but when i do, i get blinded by it and purposely use it to cover up his negative side. not that i should always spot a person's bad aspects, but i realized that i should always be open to both.

life's lessons are really learned the hard way....:D

selfish thoughts...

2006-01-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

had my first classes for the year today. the whole school atmosphere felt kind of surreal probably because my mind and body is still very much in vacation mode. just a day has passed and i am missing my bumming sessions badly...

school had a fairly good start for me though...he/she/it (wahahah!!!) kind of made my day...God really moves in ways you least expect Him to.:D

this day got me to thinking though....

one of life's wonders are things and even people that/who can make you feel giddy with happiness yet sulking in sadness, extremely contented yet somehow unsatisfied, confident yet insecure all at the same time.

i sometimes think that life would be much different if i could do things my way, wherein i could give all the incidents in my life a bit of tweaking so as to avoid the negative feelings and achieve only happiness, contentment and confidence.:D selfish eh? don't worry...i know that this would never happen. first of all, i do not have the power to have control over everything around me because others are also moving about in their own lives as i am in my own. they are experiencing changes and making choices as much as i am. although i am fully aware that this selfish thought will never ever come to reality, it still springs out once in a while during times when i really really want something but know that no matter what i do, it/he/she(again..hehe) isn't for me.

i don't really ask for much....and it's sad knowing that it is possible for that one thing you've been wanting to move in a path separate from yours & make choices that do not jive with your own.

what makes it even more difficult is seeing this happen right before your eyes because of how close it/he/she (wahaha...again!) to you.

we won't really get everything we wish for,no matter how strongly we want it...this is the sad and inescapable truth we have to live with...

happy new year!

2006-01-03T06:30:00.000-08:00

eventhough it's already the 3rd day of 2006, i stil want to greet all of you a happy happy new year!

new year=new layout! nah....i wasn't really planning to change the template. but then my chocolate brown layout was acting up. the body became narrow, the party pic disappeared...hay..i just became a bit OC and changed it just now (i should be studying philo!).hehe.:D

first post for the year.:D

2005 was definitely one-of-a-kind. there sure were quite a lot of bumps i had to go through, but i think it was the year when a lot of changes had happened to me. a lot of new people entered my life, quite a number of challenges came along my way, a handful of happy moments and of course some downers along the way. in short...one helluva rollercoaster ride!

i learned a lot too. first of all, im not and never will be a superwoman. multitasking can be a breeze but there will always be some limits to it. I am only human *bow*. Also, i learned that i am capable of quite a lot of things but i had to go through some form of insecurities and personal hang-ups before realizing this. uhuh..it wasn't easy...and this would probably be the major lesson i learned for the year. I CAN...all it takes is just a little faith in myself.:D

i gained new friends and retained old ones.:D not really all of the old friends though because naturally, time separates and takes us to different paths. some would not allow distance to hinder the relationship you built but that wouldn't be the case for all. the good side of this is that you get to know who your genuine friends are. those who treasure you not only because you're within reach but because of who you really are and how you have touched his/her life.a lot of new people not only knocked but also entered my life and i hope that they would remain.:D

i discovered my passion and the path i want to take in life...for now of course. change is inevitable.:D

all in all....the past year has practically made me about 5 years older, more driven, more ambitious and more adventurous!:D

a huge huge thank you to all those who entered, remained and even stepped out of my life the past year. all of you have touched and moved me one way or another.:D block R, ACTM friends, my high school friends, room mates, other ComTech peeps, family, and other friends who do not fall in any of the categories...salamat.:D

time flies by so fast...2006 will just be a breeze so let's make the most out of every moment.

here's to more years together!:D

bum bum bum....

2005-12-29T18:28:00.000-08:00

it's funny how much i complain when i become too preoccuppied with a lot of things and still complain when i'm doing nothing. people really do have a hard time achieving contentment.haha.:)

i guess i do deserve to relax a bit. the dvds here at home have become my closest companions for the past few days. i woke up quite early yesterday morning and decided to watch love actually for the nth time. despite how many times i've seen that movie, it still never fails to make me feel good after. I really like how they were able to show different kinds and expressions of love and weave it into a 2hr flick. the bestfriend story will always be my favorite!:D haay..mushy mushy... i even watch the korean dvds we have here at home and i must say...they really are capable of making good films and soaps!i see that they really exert efforts to come up with fresh plots and deviate from the traditional and super predictable stories we often see. now im watching mr and mrs smith....must love dogs is next in line....

wait...im taking back what i said about me doing nothing.haha!:D

there's so much i want to read and watch and do but school's back on wednesday...darn...

so far..the vacation has been fun. a lot of bonding times with my mom over shopping and eating out and watching dvds. i missed staying at home. i've been staying in katipunan for the past 4 years and i still look forward to going home every weekend. it feels nice to sleep in the bed you've been comfortable with your entire life, have cabled TV!!!, and not worry about what you'll be eating! haha:) everything's just laid out right in front of you and let's face it...it's much more cozy to live in a real home than a building.haha.:D

living in katipunan has its advantages too though. its easy to move around and run errands because everything is practically a walk, trike or cab away. I've become more independent because i know that there's no one else i could depend on. i learned how to live on my own...cook by myself...make and stand by my decisions....in short..survive without relying too much on others. and looking back....i think i've done a really good job. come to think of it...there were so many changes that would probably not happen if i hadn't become a katipunera!:D

must go back to mr and mrs smith.hehe.:D ADVANCED HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

oohhh ya....

if any of you (let's pretend a lot of people reads this.:D) is interested to watch the movie premiere of

AEON FLUX

just let me know.:D it'll be on JAN 14 at SM MEGAMALL

post-christmas...

2005-12-25T22:26:00.000-08:00

christmas felt kind of different this year..although fun as usual. the family did the traditional christmas routine...fixed noche buena food in the morning till afternoon, heard mass, waited till 12am, had noche buena then opened presents. noche buena was divine...i was so stuffed that i had to wait for my tummy to lighten up before going to bed.

Christmas lunch is a tradition in our family. my lolo and lola, aunts, uncles and cousins all came over to share a heavenly meal. i swear...i am willing to go on a hunger strike for the next week. haha! i could still feel all the sweets i ate trying to find a place to rest in my tummy. weight issues are something to be worried about next year! this is the season to indulge.:D

i love christmas. it has always topped my list of my most favorite times of the year. the food, the company, the festive spirit...and most importantly....it's as if the essence of love could be felt everywhere. :D

i never thought of what my christmas wish is until now (and ya...it's a day after christmas already). after all those years of being such a materialistic girl...i think i've changed quite a bit. what i truly want for christmas is more than money or clothes or what have you. definitely more than those...

i like God's christmas gift for me very very much though!:D i don't want to spill it yet..might jinx it.:D let's just hope i do really good on it.:D

christmas!!!

2005-12-22T17:58:00.000-08:00

the spirit of christmas is now getting into me...lovely.:)

it all started when i did my one-day christmas shopping last wednesday. i love buying gifts for my friends and family and all those who have been a part of my life. even if i'd be left with an empty purse, it still makes me feel good. *big smile*

yesterday morning, i went to visit my inaanak to give my christmas gift. she was still a baby the last time i saw her and now, she's already 4! a totally developed human person! haha.:) she's a talking, walking girl! i was just so shocked to see how big she's grown..i feel so old... she' really the cutest and she reminds me of her mom (my friend since first grade) a lot. like the way she walks and talks and acts. Hahaha..i'm definitely visiting her more!

then, the annual block-r christmas party was held last night at david's uber cool condo unit. A lot of people weren't able to make it but it was still fun nonetheless. there...that was what made me feel christmas more.:D mr and i dropped rochelle off at their house and kind of got lost on the way back! haha:) joy ride! i am the most stupid person you can ever think of when it comes to directions so i am a very useless co-pilot. with the use of our instincts (like..."uh..this doesn't seem like the right road, let's try the one on the other side!*giggle*"), we finally got ourselves to where we were supposed to be.:D got home at around 2-ish and stayed up until 5am to go to simbang gabi. Was almost conked out for about half of the homily!hahah:)

i so love christmas...and getting giddy over the holidays just gives me a natural high.:) gift-giving, all the gatherings. the cold and crisp christmas air, all the food (now who can forget about the food?!) and spending time with your family just gets you off your worries. it's the perfect time to just sit back and think about how your life has been, how you've touched other people's lives, how your relationship with The Big Boss up there has been and how you should open yourself up to Him...it's such a beautiful break from one's stressful life.:D

seems like this will never end

2005-12-16T11:18:00.000-08:00

just got home from a 14 hour stay in Starbucks for ctk, what else? it didn't seem like we've been staying there that long until i felt a bit lightheaded. man, school is killing us. i don't get to see my room mates, we don't get to go home to our families, no more time for christmas shopping, no sleep (it's 3:30am and there's still a lot of people online), actually..no more time for anything else except school work. 2 more months...i can't wait.

i'm kind of taking back what i said about feeling the christmas spirit and all. it seems like i feel its presence less as days pass. there are only 8 days to go before christmas and my mind is filled with all these concerns and worries like meeting deadlines and studying for tests. It feels weird because usually at around this time, i've already completed my christmas shopping and im all giddy for my favorite holiday, but now, nada. nothing at all. i actually felt kind of sad for not being able to attend simbang gabi yet. there is sooo much stuff to do that i kind of have a hard time letting go of every minute. waah..this is not right!i will make sure that i get to attend some time eventhough i won't be able to complete it. i miss feeling the nearness of christmas. i just hope all these changes when christmas break starts and i get to go home because christmas at home has always been very christmas-y.hehe.:) i just want to get all these school work over and done with.

i was talking to a bunch of friends the other day about how you let something truly important get in your heart, like christmas for instance. then, one pointed out the importance of hollowing out oneself. She said that before we fill something up, we have to empty it first and this also applies to us. Before we can genuinely feel and experience something, we first have to empty ourselves from all the anxieties and self-centered worries that have been taking too much space in our inner selves to make room for what will truly make us happy and help us grow. that's why there's still hope for all of us who are so pre-occupied with all these school crap.:)3 more days...hahaha..:D

i've been drinking too much coffee the past few days and now i feel kind of weird...i'm wide awake though so that's all good.:) hay...i can hear the chickens again! good morning world!:D

busy busy party bee....

2005-12-09T22:12:00.000-08:00

this is..by far...the busiest sem i've ever had in my entire college life! aside from the ever-so-wonderful thesis, there are still a lot of other requirements we have to do! but i like how i'm still able to step back once in a while from all this hell and simply have fun with my friends. Normally, there'd be this preachy voice inside my head who would remind me that i should sit down and go back to work. this time around though, i'm with the company of people who, I know, are going through the same academic stress but are still able to relax and take a breather.:) so there...it bothers me less! damay damay lang yan. :) and man...it's our last sem (for my senior friends) in school. Not that it's fine with me to fail (I am looking forward to graduating!:D) but i've become more laid back. i just want to make the most out of this sem because no one can tell when we'll be seeing and spending fun times like these with each other again.

so there...ACTM 2nd GA party last wednesday at Pier One Ortigas. It was fun! Another chance to bond with friends and orgmates. i think they didn't expect that much people to come. ComTech people from different batches were there, even some of the alumni. Theme was 50's and it was cute seeing students looking like they were plucked from the movie Pleasantville. haha:D

ACTM went carolling last night. It was the org's first time to do it and i believe that we were able to pull it off well naman. we were able to raise quite higher than expected. yipee!:) we went to three houses: Yda's lola's house, Ordo's family friend's house and Ge's. What really surprised us was the second house we went to. We were expecting maybe about 5-10 people only but as we drove past the house and saw a lot of cars parked outside, we started to feel kind of queasy. So we went in the huge house and saw that it was packed with people (most of them look Spanish) and i really felt the group freeze for quite a while there. Throughout the set, i could really feel the tension among us. We sang a teeny bit faster than our usual tempo!haha:) But we're glad they liked it. :)

I'll miss carolling and practicing for it, especially since it was the first time in my entire life that i've ever gone carolling. It made me feel the Christmas spirit even more. It just goes to show how powerful music can be, how it can stir one's emotions, and how it can definitely set a certain atmosphere. All these made me realize that gift-giving is not the only way to make people feel the presence of Christmas (this is not an excuse for me not starting my christmas shopping yet.:D). What's even more important are the small and sincere gestures of conveying your love, appreciation and gratefulness to others. cheesssyyy!haha:D

anyway..i have to get back to work.. another party comin' up later for jo and val's birthday!:D

serious stalling...

2005-11-21T22:23:00.000-08:00

class ended at 9 am today..i love tuesdays!!! i had a lot planned for today but then, I started surfing the net, checking my email, blog hopping, downloading songs...the usual internet habit...and the next thing i know..it's already 2:30pm. haha...the internet really makes me STALL!!! more than TV does..

starting to get busy in school...theo..philo...anaysis of cases...ctk! theo's kinda heavy...why oh why did our teacher have to leave us to go to singapore?!?!

i got a text from a person from PARFUND this afternoon. PARFUND is an organization that collects funds (as the name implies!haha) to help farmers to acquire the land they're tilling. Basta...they're putting in efforts to better implement the CARP law.:) We actually made an advocacy video for them for tv prod class and it was sent to GERMANY!!!! yahoo!:D Anyway...they're looking for student volunteers and the first thing they're asking us to do is to market the christmas cards the farmers (and i think their family too) made. Things aren't finalized yet but it would more or less be like that. SO....if you guys are thinking of giving away cards this season...why not try hitting two birds with one stone? Make a friend happy and support a good cause! :D I'll post more info about it once things are settled..:)

Speaking of Christmas...i can feel it, hear it, see it...it's definitely comin'!:D The nights have become colder, malls play christmas carols endlessly, houses are beautifully decorated...hay, christmas na nga.:) I'm excited to go (and complete!) to simbang gabi! Man, i love Gesu during simbang gabi. The ambiance is just so calm, relaxing and just sooo christmas-y. Bel field is sooo beautifully lit. I love walking across its mushy ground in my sneakers.hehe... The atmosphere of simbang gabi in Ateneo would not make you feel like you're in Ateneo.:D

Ok ok...time to stop stalling...magbabasa na.:D

family matters

2005-11-16T02:08:00.000-08:00

just got back from school...my 5 hour break every mwf is not helping me to be more enthusiastic about school! hay...i guess i have to enjoy it nalang since this may be the first and last week i'll be having abreak because of everything we have to do!

anyway...my dad left yesterday after his almost 2-month stay here. Him working abroad while the rest of the family stays here has been the setup my entire life. Despite this, not having him around now still feels a bit odd. Even I myself sometimes have a difficulty explaining why because after all these years, this is something i must be very used to.

His 2 latest vacations are, i think, the most meaningful ones ever. Both of these times were, coincidentally, when his mother (my lola) fell seriously ill. Seeing lola surprised us all. She lost almost half her weight and it was very evident that every move she makes causes her pain. We all thought that we don't have much time left to spend with her, after all, she is 91 years old. It was the first time i saw my dad in tears and felt how deep his love for his mother is. He did all he could to show and make my lola feel how much she is loved. As he said, at least he would not have to regret anything if, in case, her time comes because he gave his all and did what he could. True enough, she told us once when I was in the hospital with her how overwhelmed she is to feel so much love from the family.

My lola has been in the hospital for almost two months now and fortunately, her condition has continuously been improving. I am amazed by her strong faith in the Lord and in Mother Mary. She always has a rosary at hand and although there are times when memory lapses occur, how to pray the rosary is one thing that she never forgets.

The situation our family is currently in and how my dad handles it make me look up to him even more. I learned that giving back to one's parents for everything that they had done for us is not a one-shot thing. Not a single gesture can compensate for all they had gone through for us. Rather, it is a responsibility to be carried as long as one lives.

I'm sure that my dad did all those affectionate gestures for my lola and the last thing on his mind was to show us how a son/daughter should be. That has been the impact on me though. Now, i am trying my best to be as careful as i can in my actions and in the decisions that I make. Of course my happiness counts but I know I won't be genuinely happy hurting people who have laid their lives for my comfort. Happiness..and love at that matter...is indeed blinding. Sometimes we get too overwhelmed by the satisfaction we feel that we end up being less and less rational. After all that has happened..I have learned to appreciate my family more, show my love as much as i can and consider them and their feelings in every decision I commit.

sorry..muni muni mode.hehe.:D

and so it begins

2005-11-14T20:28:00.000-08:00

yep...second sem has officially begun. i can just imagine all the sleepless nights we have to go through, the piles of handouts we have to read, oral exams, org work, and the list just goes on and on. come march though, we are practically free! no more classes to worry about...we'll just sit around and wait for graduation day to come!

to start anew, my sister and i tried to organize all our old school stuff, piles of old handouts etc. While constantly sneezing because of all the dust they collected, i came across my old planner, friends' debut invitations, letters, desk calendars, my ateneo essay, handouts of course and my high school journal! I read them last night and realized how time has breezed by without me noticing and how college really changed me.

Reading my high school journal was fun (yes, i read the entire thing!) even if some parts made me cringe a bit and say "i did/said that?!?!" Despite that, I was amazed by how alive every moment was in my mind which just goes to show how important that episode in my life is. :D

I believe there are no such thing as accidents. I believe I was reunited with it to show how much I've changed, how much i've learned from everything that happened to me in the past and to remind me that every moment should be treasured because it would always be nice and helpful to look back at them a few years down. :D

anyway... back to the normal school life. no more couch potato...*sigh*....second sem..let's get it on!haha:D

breather

2005-11-10T10:37:00.000-08:00

should be sleeping already..but hey..i miss doing this!:D

back to katipunan..back to the real life. dang...i still can't get over the break. eventhough it was way different from how i spent all the other sembreaks, my mind is now used to being on vacation! oh well..life goes on. My cousin who took a vacation is going back to canada tomorrow morning, dad's leaving on tuesday, school stars on monday (boo-hoo!)...back to normal...

to get the back-to-school mode startin', reg was today (well, yesterday coz it's already morning). Got a very pretty random number (34! yahoo!!) which gave me the chance to get all the teachers and classes i wanted without any fuss whatsoever. thank you for making my last reg in ateneo uber efficient!:D i finished early (duh!) so we hung out at starbucks to finish our ctk proposal. ctk...ugh...let's not talk about it....well until we get a topic approved!hahaha

it was cza's birthday bash at Super Bowl and it was all good. So much for the well-expected vetsin galore....their dishes don't have MSG pala. haaha! But still..i felt like I had vetsin overload!:D It was fun going out with my friends after not seeing them almost the entire break, missing that heavenly Iloilo trip and all the other night outs. We took pictures like crazy (will upload next time)...laughed about the silliest things...had a few drinks after...yeah, i had fun.:)

although my entire day was quite packed, it surprisingly felt very light. wow...i needed this. after all the frustrations and "excess baggage" i was carrying during the last leg of the sembreak, a day off with friends definitely helps. well certain disappointments and issues still arise once in a while though...but taking my mind off it just feels soooo darn goood...

and to you, my friend! i can't explain how happy i am for you!!! really really...you greatly deserve whatever you're experiencing right now! not only do you deserve to be happy..you earned it.:) alabshu dear!:D

what i've been longing for

2005-10-16T04:10:00.000-08:00

this hell of a sem has finally reached its end!!! yahooo!!! looking back, i cannot imagine how i was able to survive and keep my sanity!

although it was hellish...i think it was the best sem i ever!!

1. a whole lot of new friends!!
- shasta's boy buds
- my theo group!
- the most amazing tv prod team
- ACTM people who i so so love!! :D
- ACMG friends
- comtech people who became close buddies (you know who u guys are!!!:))
- and many many more..haha..:)

2. room mates who really really try their best to be up all night with me but more often than not fails...haha...that's ok..i appreciate the effort!:)

3. cat-o, aram and cza for the groupie nights

4. jo for his very welcoming condo, boxes of spam, chocolates, mrs. field's cookies and for always giving me a ride!haha.:)

5. YM!! for keeping me awake in the wee hours of the morning seeing all my other friends online

6. bimbo, my laptop, for not giving me any problems despite its being overused! (i love you bimbo...you have a month to get some rest)

7. ACTM..the fun, the people, and all the stress that came with it

8. 7 11 for their killer hotdogs

9. starbucks for their coffee jelly frap light!:D

10. blockmates!!! who despite the crazy sched still manages to be there!!

11. maxwell house iced coffee for keeping me awake when i really really need to esp when i don't have money for starbucks!

12. starbucks for accomodating me almost everyday (hello baristas!!!:) )

13. TR for never failing to call on me every class time...and now my classmates know me as Ms. Mamaradlo.how nice...

14. Migs and tonyo for the philo reviews!
Tonyo for making me realize that it would be best to have the orals earlier..hehe
Migs din for the marketing reviews, gigs, transpo (hehe) and our talks.:)

15. Alexa and Kynan for our 7 11 adventure...haha..la lang..i just wanted to mention it!

16. marketing group for the lovey dovey talk!hahaha.:)

17. tara and mea for always always being there!:D

i know there's a lot more to be thankful for..ill post more when i remember them..:D

hay...this sem has really changed me in terms of how i open myself up to people and how to deal with certain situations. it's the best! hope next sem would rock!!!:D

---
oh well...what other way to end a sem than to party!!! i went to two parties last night. one was kakam's at pasig with mea. mea and i each had a tall glass of redhorse and got..uh..quite dizzy..haha what do you expect? the thing was..it was still so early to get drunk and we still had to go to david's party. Kakam's place is realy cool. Plus, his friends were so nice and fun to talk to! and mavie, my childhood friend was there also! suprise surprise!:D

off we went to david's bash. There were quite a lot people..the block of course, a couple of actm people. mikel and his friends pipo and niko and david's high school buddies. jam brought Bailey's which was supposed to be her gift for David but..hehe...the block finished it! and then..there were rounds and rounds of velocity and of course..the good ol beer. with that were unending laughter, killer hirits, endless picture taking, and uh...throwing people in the pool!!!

i also got to meet new friends... niko (the counselor..hehe), pipo (and his amazing voice) and ara's friend riza. It was a cool night. i was supposed to go home with yaw, len go and drew at around 1 am but migs and trick didn't want me to so i stayed and yaw and the others went ahead. it was fun...we had a few drinks and of course, the ever-so-present love talk. we left david's place past 2am (after figuring out what to do with the leftover beer) and a bunch of them still wanted to hang out. Some wanted to go to Migs' place, Migs wanted to go to Wendy's (haha), the others were game to go anywhere..I was dead tired and wanted to go home! so there..haha...none of their plans pushed through and all of us headed home...:)

it was great to be able to celebrate the end of the sem with friends!!:) and now...what do i do in the next month???

what keeps me goin...

2005-08-25T05:44:00.000-08:00

hay....i'm still having a really crazy week and i cannot imagine how i am able to manage...

i am able to squeeze in laid-back hangouts with my friends (those i don't really get to be with a lot) though. and wow...they really do help me in keeping myself sane...

Had dinner with my closest friends, shas, pau, and aidz last night and it was really a breath of fresh air.:) I also got to hangout with my higschool bud dane today after school. It's relieving and overwhelming to know that there are people who are always ready to be by your side even if you don't get to see them a lot. ...a really feel-good idea which could easily take away all the stress one's going through. *sigh*

time flies by sooo fast...we're getting old (?)...we're getting more matured (hopefully) and all these i realized during our conversation last night. We were talking about real-life stuff!!! my goodness...a couple of batchmates are giving birth, one is getting married, others who have just graduated are now in the process of job hunting! we were just kids who only thought about our petty crushes and gimiks and now...it's time to face the real world. hmmm...this part of our life is definitely no joke now. I'd die without enjoying, having fun and being my typical laid back self...but i realized that every action i take now could have a long-term effect. and now it's time to theologize a bit and indicate what i learned from oh-so-wonderful Bobby Guev. ..
--> God gave us freedom. some choices in life that won't really make a drastic change that just depend on our desires and appetite. But some choices have to be done consciously and critically. We shouldn't just let our desires over rule us and if we learn to put a limit on it, that's the only time we'd be able to enter a world of meaning...again, because we were critical about it:)
***
anyway...off-topic..hehe..here are the a few of the things that keeps me goin'!

my almost daily coffee jelly fix!!hmm...yum!

pau, shas and me

dane and i..(straw yan ng coffee jelly..hahaha)

these girls!!!

nights out with the groupies!!

equally insane room mates

* other friends who aren't included in the pics..guys, you know who you are!:)

groupiness and stress!!!

2005-08-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

i just got home from a tv-prod pre-production meeting. there's just so much to do. the past week was really crazy. 3 meetings in a day, production shoots, theo and philo readings..ack! there's still the ls and mkt paper! waah....i can't imagine how the following days would be like...

i am HAGGARD...i can feel it..i can even see it...boo

good thing we were able to chill somehow last night. it was another groupies night at party central.haha.... we watched kitchie, nina and hale perform. cueshe, sandwich and imago also played but it was getting late so we already went home. it was only then that i realized that kitchie is really good. she has an uber amazing voice quality...grabe. nina was ok...but it's as if there's something lacking...i just can't tell. hale was great as usual. our pakapalan skills were really put to the test last night (right cza?)! we wanted to have our picture taken with the artist performing as the background. obviously, to get this shot taken, we had to stand in front of the stage and smile for the camera while facing all the audience. hahahaha...laughtrip...:) then this guy seated in front probably found us pathetic so he offered to take the pic! nakakahiya talaga! and this didn't happen once! oh well...at least we got the pic...and i doubt that we'd bump into him in the future...:D

***********************************************************************************
im not going to immersion anymore. i talked to Bobby Guev the other day about it and he said that the possibilities are really slim because the OSCI areas were already taken. I don't know if i should be relieved or not. Well it's more of the latter. as i said before, my group was assigned to go to Gabaldon. To get to its community, you still have to climb a mountain. my mom and doctor were really doubtful about it because of my, hmmm... frailty (?)and eventhough i wanted to go, i wouldn't want to be a burden to those i would be with. i can't carry a huge backpack while climbing a mountain (just carrying the bag is not easy for me), i am very prone to serious allergy attacks (sometimes to food i normally eat naman) and this means i can't just eat anything and i know it's not proper to show my foster parents that i NEED to be choosy. Having enough food on the table for their family is hard enough for them...i don't want to be a pain in the ass.

it's frustrating to not be able to do and experience what you want because of your limitations. especially if you know this experience could even be life-changing. i heard my groupmates talking about their trip to Gabaldon and how they really really want to come back. Wanting to go through all the hassle of getting to the top of that mountain just to visit the community must really mean something. something i won't be able to feel and witness...

haleness!!!

2005-08-10T11:16:00.000-08:00

it's 3 am and im still wide awake!!!

i could say..it's definitely been one helluva night!

cat, jo, aram and i headed off to virgin cafe to watch migs perform back to back with hale. Migs and his band was great! especially Philip!!! He had an amazing line-up of songs and man, ang ganda ng boses niya!(ok..build-up na to) Throughout the night, we were joking around and calling ourselves F.O.E (Friends of Escueta: Solid! Katipunan Chapter) Hahaha....Sobrang laughtrip!!! May konting tama pero sige pa rin!

Hale performed next...it was the first time I saw them perform and Champ is a real hottie!!! as in! i took pictures of him, different angles, different facial expressions, nakanganga, paleng ung bibig, pero shet...hot pa rin!!! I got to have my picture taken with him...courtesy of cat and i's pakapalan abilities! He is so nice!! as in....he's very friendly and accomodating..nakakatuwa. I was kind of contented with that one picture I had...at least i got to shake his hand (which is uber soft!haha..manyak!). But while we were waiting for cat's car outside virgin's, Mig's called on us and introduced us to champ!!! and we had another chance to have a pic with him and again..shake his hand! hahaha...ang babaw ko!!

I'm such a groupie..hahaa..but hey, it was really fun!

jo! sorry putol...il post some more next tym.:D

can't wait for next week...game pa kayo fellow groupies?:D

A bunch of pics to follow!:D

hay...such joy...;p

on Pinoy horror flick and false alarm...

2005-08-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

i was able to go out with tara, mea and MR last Saturday and it was pretty fun. I wasn't able to spend a lot of time with them lately. i wanted to watch "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" but mea saw it already so we all ended up watching D'Anothers! hahaha..:D It's something one who doesn't want to use his head much and just laugh his ass of should watch. Really, there wasn't really a point in the story but it's being shallow and the casts' (Vhong and Pokwang especially) acting would just leave you laughing (sometimes unconsciously..it's weird..haha). Watching it kind of relaxed me...i mean, my brain gets all the exercise it could possibly get from school and i think it deserves a little break.:)

I missed mea terribly and we were able to catch up a bit. Being my food trip partner, one could say that that day, we were back in business! :)

Sunday turned out to be a pretty lazy one for me.
-->I woke up at 9am (immediately thought that i have a tv prod paper to do)...
-->ate breakfast....
-->ate lunch at around 11:30 (still feeling heavy because of breakfast)...
-->took a nap at 12:30 and asked my lil bro to wake me up 15 minutes after to start on my paper
--> woke up only to find out that it was already 3pm
--> sat in front of the laptop (nothing sensible was coming out of me)
--> stopped and went to my mom's room to watch tv with her (still had that paper in mind)
--> dinner till about 6:30
--> packed my stuff and left for katipunan at around 8:30 (you got it! i wasn't able to do my paper)
--> got here before 10pm and finished ACTM stuff till 11:30
--> finally realized that i HAD to do my paper....but i went online first and saw one of my tv prod groupmates online too
--> i asked him about the paper and he told me the magic words....Hindi pa ata bukas un.
--> Almost jumped for joy but still asked other groupmates....they said the same thing.:)

Really, this almost always happens to me. Like I set my mind early on that i have to finish something. There are times when i do get my hand on the task immediately and there are times when I stall like crazy but still manage to get it done and think in the end, that it was ok that i stalled.

Today was no exception! Thank you God!:) I know you knew how much I needed to rest from all the stress the previous days gave me! But He also taught me something...you should always be sure of something first before even attempting to make a move! Not doing such leads to a waste of time and a lot of pressure due to thinking a lot about eventhough you don't act upon it. Although in this case, it was kind of confusing because the dates got all messed up because of the holidays.:D haha...excuses!:D

hay..i have to be all geared-up for my jam-packed monday!:)

so much to do, so little time...

2005-08-03T07:29:00.000-08:00

This is such a busy busy point in my life. I sit back and try to relax after doing something and then I realize that I need to finish something else. Afterwards, i rest again, then it's like another one pokes me and gets my attention. It's becoming a cycle and its damn stressful.

Being involved in a lot of things is actually very fulfilling. You meet new people, you take part in something you think is worthwhile, you learn to make better decisions, and you are forced to learn how to juggle your time (3 different meetings in a day + schoolwork!), just to name a few. I sometimes regret being like this just now and think that I have wasted 3 of what could have been the most fruitful years of my life. There's less than a year to go and all I could do is make good use of it. I know that there'd be more chances for me in the years to come though...

Meeting new people has got to be the best thing about all these. However, as the saying goes, "you can't please everybody." Someone out there is bound to not like you, or you could feel this at the very least (i think instinct really works). I am such a people person and I don't find striking a conversation and making friends difficult. There are those though who could make a person feel like they're not worthy of their attention or that they do not meet their standards of who they should be mingling with. This has been in my mind for so long now. Don't get me wrong, people still appreciate me and no one has done something really harsh to me...but the way some look and talk are self-evident. I know this thought shouldn't even be entertained but it makes me examine myself at times and no matter what I do, i can't seem to find the answers. Paranoia strikes...I'm sorry. But if you think about it, it might just boil down to the fact that one cannot fit in and belong at all times.

what every girl needs...

2005-07-30T00:35:00.000-08:00

theo orals is over! phew....that's a really huge load off my shoulder. the pressure is different when you're already facing the teacher. it's like you know what you want to say but you can't construct it in a concise and straight to the point statement and your mind just can't seem to focus on what it's supposed to focus on. You're pressured by the time, the reaction on his face and by just being in that little consultation room. Like what happened in my orals earlier, i thought of the right answer to one of my teacher's questions right after i went out of the room. It was so frustrating, i wanted to run back to BobbyGuev! haha....waahh...let go!:D

although i'm done with theo orals, there's still a lot lined up and just thinking of them makes me feel tired already.

everybody here is just so stressed...ate with her thesis, paula and me with school. i'm not even used to sleeping for hours anymore because of barely getting some decent sleep for the past 3 nights. the longest sleep i got was 3 hours, but when i woke up, it felt like i've dozed off for half a day already. I don't even feel sleepy now. oh no... after all the hardwork and the consecutive sleepless nights, we realized that we deserve a bit of pampering. so off we went to the spa to get a body massage...

pau and in our robes

pau and i again, all dressed up after the massage

me and ate (trigger happy!)

it was so relaxing..just what every stressed perus Northeim, der mir eine Absage gab und die Telekom.

Wie der Einstellungstest bei der Telekom verlief könnt ihr demnächst in einem weiteren Blog nachlesen ...
sah auf einem Foto noch nie so gut aus.

Insgesamt bekam ich 12 Absagen und 3 Einladungen zu Einstellungstests / Bewerbungsgesprächen. Darunter war die Universität, die sich nach dem Test nicht wieder gemeldet hat (nicht mal eine Absage), ein Bürobedarfhersteller aus Northeim, der mir eine Absage gab und die Telekom.

Wie der Einstellungstest bei der Telekom verlief könnt ihr demnächst in einem weiteren Blog nachlesen ...

zombie...

2005-07-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

it's 5 in the morning and i just got home from an all-nighter at jeff's place for our tv production project. editing really takes up a lot of time!!! we weren't able to finish it!! i can't make it to the meeting tomorrow though because i have to study for theo...

i feel like a zombie....my head feels so light...it seems like it's floating. i also slept at around this time yesterday...naririnig ko na ung tilaok ng manok... and now, it's music to my ears.

must get some shut-eye!!!

school is very demanding! :(

new home...

2005-07-25T21:08:00.000-08:00

i moved!!! tabulas was kind of acting up..so here i am..:)

6 day weekend for me baby! haha....but it really isn't much of a vacation because of all the school/org work i have to finish. theo orals are up on friday!!!

i've been staying in our real house since saturday and gosh...it's really bringing out the bum in me. i've been planning to do something productive but i just end up staring at all my handouts and then realizing that i'm hopeless...so i just watch some tv and pig out.haha....bum... i don't have class till thursday but it would be best for me to go back to katips tonight...if i want something meaningul to happen to me...

i want to watch IF ONLY! people say it's a really good movie...a date movie at that...i wanna see it!!! cat, lika na!haha..:)

i miss a lot of people...i don't get to spend time with people i'm usually with...feels kind of odd, really
--> i miss mea! our starbucks nights, our spontaneous dinners, our moro days and endless chikahan

--> i miss tara! although we go to a couple of classes together..it's still unlike before...

--> i miss cat! our uber spontaneous trippings, deep talks, nonsense laugh trips...

--> i miss the entire block! promise!

--> i miss my highschool buds

-->i miss my dad

hay....

i've been listening to a lot of music lately and i noticed that OPM is back! they're all over the radio, MTV, MYX, name it. i think we can now finally bid goodbye to Paolo Santos and Jimmy Bondoc! wahoo...The new bands are coming up with really good music. Hale is unquestionably good, mojofly's great...well Cueshe's ok sana. one of the leads lang really wants to be slang..haha..."Coz i'm truly, madly, crazily in love with you". haha.... nevertheless, OPM, which i thought was slowly dying, is starting to get up on it's feet now.:)